@Tee – yes, I agree that my husband is avoiding “the work”. You only get so far with ideas. He isn’t doing enough to implement. Because of my own struggles I’m currently in psychomotor therapy, because talk therapy has not worked well for me at all. I’ve only been with this new therapist for a few sessions but I have high hopes. This will hopefully teach me to stay more regulated and not get into this abandonment trap of anxiety.

My husband is indeed someone who really can’t say no very well. He has a real history of taking responsibility, to his own detriment even. Part of the problem here is that I think his standards are a bit too high and he doesn’t have enough trust. “No one does a good job if I don’t step up” – that almost seems to be his mantra, whether he realises it or not. It would really serve him well to work through his own past issues that are holding a grip over his present life.

Our son is 4 years old, and yes, it would have been better to start off by saying: “Can you please put them back?” Or try to encourage him not to throw them in the first place. Because that approach often takes a bit longer with kids it can be something we are both guilty of when rushed, just choosing the quick route of stepping in and doing it ourselves.