Hi SereneWolf,

She says she’s really confused because he asked him to be back together. They were together for more than 4 years, so her emotions are really strong.

Hm.. that’s not a good sign, since it means she still has feelings for him. And that she is considering going back to him, otherwise she wouldn’t want to meet him. BTW, was he the one who left her? Because usually that’s when we still have feelings for the ex…

In any case, it’s not a good sign. But I think you reacted well when you said you can’t tell her what to do, and that you don’t want to force her to stick with you. And I guess you meant that you don’t want to beg her either, right? Perhaps your slightly detached style served you well in this situation, because you didn’t get too emotional about it. You didn’t start panicking, begging her, or accusing her…

But the bottom line is, since she has feelings for the other guy, it’s not good for the future of your relationship. I think she’d need to resolve those feelings, i.e. the conflict and confusion she feels about her ex, before she can continue dating you.

I don’t know how you feel about it? Btw I am curious, how did she react to your relatively detached reaction?