I have thought about some of what I said today. I honestly did do a lot of fun stuff as a child and at times that kid does come out. I remember when we went looking for shells together and I was like a little kid then, however she did bring that out at the time.

I am quite sarcastic with my partners and just in general. To me it’s a way of being playful. I tend to innocently tease a bit as well, which has caused my partners needing reassurance at times because of their insecurities. Like that time I brought up how she rolls over and turns away from me in bed, I teased her slightly saying I don’t care but I think it’s cute. However it got taken the wrong way.

I am a bit of a goof I realised as well, especially in public. I am not afraid of making a fool out myself and looking stupid, I think all my partners have enjoyed this about me and seen I have a playful side. However I do still have that calm and balanced side. Similar to my father my mother said, not too excited but not unsatisfied. My Mum compares me a lot to my Dad. My friend told me to look at my ex in comparison to my Mother saying, “would she ever end up being the woman your mother is?”. And he’s right she wouldn’t be I don’t think. I’m saying this because I was trying to think of ‘my type’ and I struggle with this, along with what I actually liked about all my exes. I feel like my type is someone like my Mother, someone who is caring, respectful, rational, loving, responsible and hard working just to name a few things. In saying all of this I do get very attached to almost anyone who I think is attractive and gives me attention. I think of compatibility early on and get high hopes for the future.

Lastly, Have you ever heard of maladaptive daydreaming? I think I may have something similar. Ever since I was a child I have been a huge day dreamer, excessive at times. I noticed my Father had similar mannerisms to my own when I day dream, maybe he does too. I have never spoken to him about it. I may be looking into things too much but maybe this is adding to my beautifying of the relationship and my hopes of rekindling.