Dear Tee,

Thank you for taking time to reply despite your health issues 🙏 I appreciate that.

I’m really glad that you’re slowly getting better. I can understand what you’re going through 🫂 For me it was also a mixture of health related issues, emotional struggles with the past & fears for the future.

Recently, my best friend lost her life at a very young age and there was nothing that could be done. We were closer than some family members can ever be. Also my 2 beloved uncles passed away (Covid related) and left a big whole in my life.

It is not easy to make new friendships nowadays and especially when you’re getting older. For me a friend is a very special person and this kind of bond is not easy to find (not like 100 different people you call friends on Facebook who do not even care about you).

I’m trying to forget about that policeman and went out with 1 more man (met him at a church event). Unfortunately, he did not invite me yet for a 2 date (he said let’s stay in touch) but did not physically ask me out. He is divorced 3 times (last divorce 2 years ago), no kids but still thinking about his exes. On our 1 date, he was blaming himself for working too much before and neglecting his ex wife and his health. He had a heart attack and now is obsessed with his health and focused on himself. It is good that he is looking after himself now but is there any space for someone new? I’m not sure. We wrote a few messages and now nothing. I do not want to contact him first as I want to see if he will ask me out again. Is it a good step to take?

Also he is in a good contact with his ex wife’s son from her previous marriage. Maybe with her too? I told him politely that I want to focus now on creating life with someone new and not live their past. He should learn from it by now. It was a bit emotionally draining for me…

Tee, I’m really sorry to hear that you went through so much pain when you were a child (and still are) 😞 It resonates very much with my own story, my father and the consequences of his actions. Before I ,met’ you, I was not aware that a parent can have such a tremendous impact on a child’s future romantic life and long term health.

We need to move on somehow but what if we never succeed to forget and forgive? What if this anxiety and fear won’t go away for good? It is so hard to fill that void inside…

The worst thing is that they won’t change and will only hurt us more and more. My father remarried with a much younger women (she has a daughter from her previous marriage). This woman doesn’t care about him and divorced him. Apparently they are not financially divorced as it is better that way. For who? Definitely not for his only daughter (as my uncle used to say). My father said that he can finalise his divorce if I get the piece of land (otherwise his wife might take everything). I told him that I do not wish to get involved and the land should be a gift not a business deal. He messed up my life well enough and now wants to continue. It also seems like he is not doing well financially right now and complains a lot about money. I can’t trust anything he says and his intention with me. Could it be that bad?

Another sad thing is that even if I want to go and see him or stay at his place, I need to ask his ex wife’s permission as she and her daughter still visit (she owns half of the house after divorce) and they stay at his other place too. Why is that? Is he planning to stay not completely divorced forever? It is really messy…

Thank you Tee for opening my eyes for another abuse from him. He is using the spiritual talk as an excuse for his bad or non existent parenting and avoiding any responsibility. And he is doing nothing to make up for all those years.

I hope something will change in our life very soon. I pray for us 🙏 and that we are strong enough to stay on this Earth and be able to enjoy it 🌷🌼

I hope to hear from you soon Tee and I wish for lots of health.

Warm greetings & big hug for you 🫂