@seaturtle

A great note and it helps to read that you have had some experience being perhaps a little more relaxed shall we say. I am a good man, but like any man or women people have certain flaws and some of which cannot be changed. That doesnt make people bad just different and its important to focus on that which is unique for everyone as an individual.

Again it has been quite some time since I updated this thread and I feel it is important to try and update, my SO and I have now been separated for 6 months and I have settled into a new place ready for my 1st Xmas. My wife and I are still in a good place in terms of communication back and forth regarding everything including the children, which really helps. Nothing has really changed on the relationship front, we are still very amicable and text most days but very surface level and transactional I would say.

A few months ago I went to the house to help with some internet issues and we got to talking and one thing led to another and we enjoyed some time in the bedroom, but it felt like thats all it was just a physical thing. That has never been our issue previously – and we both said it felt soo good to be together that way just not right to be together as in a relationship! Since that I havent really pushed the issue, I’m in my lane and she is in hers so i like to think of it…

I am spending xmas eve and day at my old house and we are going to sleep seperately to be there together for the kids and have xmas dinner together which I am looking forward to, I will add that I still have the same feelings for her and still feel drawn to her – even though I know she doesnt feel the same way, which hurts but I’m starting to move on.

I don’t think there will be a chance for us to reconnect, which makes me sad but also thankful that I am 41 and can potentially go out and find someone who will appreciate all the good things I bring and want to be close to me etc. Although I can’t shake the feeling that this shouldnt be happening yet, I feel i’m ready to maybe go out on some dates and meet someone new! At the end of the day I could continue to wait around for her to change her mind which doesnt seem likely or I can try and get myself back out there.

Or am I making a mistake? I don’t know…