Hello Anita,

I just wanted to let you know your message did help me with my visit home! I am back at my apartment and actually home sick today, a little stressed financially about missing work but my roommate had covid all week and last night it hit me.

I haven’t had communication directly with N but he did text my sister.. she was the only close relative I hadn’t told about the breakup yet, I told my family while I was in town but she wasn’t there. I called her yesterday morning to tell her and catch up and she said that she texted him asking for advice on a Christmas gift for me…and he responded “your guess is as good as mine she broke up with me last week” to which my sister responded that she was sorry and didn’t know. He then said “I wish I was dead right now.” She responded religiously, she is very Christian and her response was well said from that perspective. He then responded hours later that night. He said:

“Hey no I’ve definitely prayed through this. Yeah I love you and all your siblings, if you guys ever need anything don’t hesitate to ever reach out you are all very special and unique.

To put kalei and i exceptionally short, I think overall some of our core beliefs were off and tragically we were unable to line them up to make it work.

the biggest thing that I haven’t been able to get over is though, how excruciatingly cold she was with how she ended things.”

my sister responded religiously again with advice to feel the emotions to process. She also said that my response was cold so it didn’t get emotional, as a defense mechanism.

I just found this out and am processing what he said. Am I correct that this is all highly emotionally manipulative?

seaturtle