Hi Anita,

Thank you for your response and apologies for the delayed reply. Been very busy over Christmas with no access to a computer to be able to respond properly.

His mother met somebody else quite quickly so she was preoccupied with that person when she divorced from his father. However, i have found out recently that when she first became pregnant with him, she wanted a girl, convinced herself she was having a girl, and then put him in girls clothes and pretended he was a girl for the first few months of his life because she was so disappointed in him for just being a boy. So fast forward to today it explains why he feels undeserving of anything good.

The problem I had when i first posted is now no longer a problem.  I ended up going through his phone and finding messages to the female co worker telling her that he doesn’t want to be with me, and calling her beautiful, amazing etc.  I was going to leave, but then he tried to get in the car drunk and kill himself.. So instead I have stayed, drs have increased his doseage of Zoloft which I’m apprehensive about but things can’t really get worse at this point, and he has agreed to go to private therapy.  He is very confused about what he wants, and i am heartbroken, but there is no point trying to repair our relationship as there is no us without him. How can he decide what he wants when it comes to our relationship when he doesn’t even want to be alive anymore?

Thank you for all of your wonderful guidance. I appreciate it. However, I’m not sure there’s anything that can be said or done now that can actually help me in this situation.

Thanks again and hope you had a lovely Christmas. Happy New Year to you.