Dear Renn:

You are very welcome and thank you for your kind words.

“My new boyfriend (is)  much more of a ‘Lover’ by nature. I get the impression from him that (like me) he would rather put his heart on the line and get hurt than never at all. A wonderful trait I think… my new boyfriend is really in touch with his emotions (which is great)“- yes, a wonderful trait, and him being in touch with his emotions is promising when it comes to the probability of a healthy, loving long-term relationship.

“You can’t rush these things can you, good things come to those who wait or something! I do need to be nice and steady with my new boyfriend for this kind of reason. it’s hard sometimes, but I’ve always followed my head, so when my heart gets involved its important to remember my values of rationality. Being young, I think. it’s easy for us to get carried away!“-you sound more mature than many women twice your age. Keep following your head (rational thinking).

A note: it is rational to listen to the heart, to what it has to say (yet not be ruled by its impulses and immediate needs), because what it has to say has to be part of any rational decision that involves the heart. A rational decision cannot be the right decision unless it takes the heart into serious consideration.

In regard to not telling your boyfriend about the previous, you wrote: “And Okay, good point. ill leave that bit. I suppose there’s no need for me to bring it up really unless there’s something directly relevant“- I am impressed with your rational thinking, particularly being that you are only one year removed from being a teenager!

“I shall carry this motto with me. ‘be patient with your heart and his’… I’m going to be more considerate to my own and his feelings. Hopefully I can soon let my heart let him in fully“- do not demand of yourself to let him into your heart fully. Don’t put any pressure on your loving feelings to be any less or any more than they are at any one time .

Also, loving feelings are not static; they change, disappear, reappear… it’s the nature of feelings aka emotions. You can break down the word emotion to e-motion, or energy in-motion.

“I can be a bit of a control freak with my own emotions, I don’t always let myself feel them, which is maybe why I’m panicking a bit about the start of a ‘love feeling’“- I would like to read more about how you control your emotions, how you manage to not feel them…?

“I’ve always been the kind of ‘therapist’ friend because  I’m pretty black and white in general which I think people need and appreciate sometimes, I’m never jumping to conclusions or being crazy“- not jumping to conclusions or being crazy is.. again, rational and mature.

I wonder what you mean by being black and white as a therapist-friend..?

anita