Dear Anita,

First of all , I am extremely thankful to you for saying that you will be here for me and I wont be alone .When I read that I felt a weight lift off from my heart.Now , I will try to follow your procedure of writing to make it a little bit of easy to follow.

“if he didn’t throw you out of his life, his mother would have thrown him out of her life in some significant way. I figure that in his mind, society (his religion-society) would throw him out.. and he’d be all alone. Well, he’d have you in his life, but his mother and religion-society are significantly more important to him. To his defense, he was raised this way.”-  So you are trying to tell me that , his religion-society was always more important to him always ? That he was fooling himself into thinking that one day he would stand up for me when deep down he knew he never would ?And what do you mean when you say ” To his defense, he was raised this way.” Is it  that he tried to make me understand this thing and I refused to understand it and I was forcibly in relationship with him for this long?And because I wouldnt listen to him , therefore he decided on his own that when he can no longer carry this forward , he would leave me . This was his whole plan all along?

“he gave you his honest answer. And as I said before, his mother is way more important to him than you are. It’s not that he doesn’t, or didn’t love you, it’s that he loves his mother more. Never underestimate (again) the love and loyalty of a man- in a society as traditional as in India- to his mother.” – I never wanted him to choose between me and his mother all I wanted or thought was that someone who has honor would atleast fight for the cause of his love. That is to say, if he loves someone and if the scene is as serious as mine then he would convince his mother of our relationship , I know that when it comes to inter-religion marriage in India, it takes a lot of strength. But this guy he did not even put up a honest fight for me . If he was so weak then why did he harbor a relationship for so long , he should have ended things long ago in the most brutal manner that he did now?He could have just left me in the most horrible way like now and turned deaf and blind to my woes and sorrows. On one hand he says that he loved me but he did not even took up the fight or did not even fought till the last opportunity ran out. We had a practical solution with us . We had planned that we would go abroad then when we find a job over there we would be considered as somewhat over-achievers in our respective families then we will try to convince our respective families. I have heard scenarios where people convince their families for years for the person that they love.But then again are you trying to tell me that he would naturally love any girl his mother brings for him and that in this whole scene , I am literally used and disposed off?That in his entire life , his mother shall control his life forever and that whoever girl he marries will remain second important to him after his mother . Could it have been possible that I could have loved him a little more or did something in some other way so that he would stand upto me?Could he fight for another girl ? Could some other girl love him more than I did?

” sadly for you, he already has a mother and she.. placed herself in the center of his universe: he’ll marry who she wants him to marry.” – If there would have been some other woman in the picture for whom he would have left me then that would have been bad very bad but here , I know that he left me because he was more loyal towards his mother which is something i adored in him . I initially loved him maybe because he was so close towards his family( you will recall that I craved a happy home and good relationship with family back then) but now I am worried that what if I never found somebody as good as him . Or worse like it is in India , I would have to go for an arranged marriage set-up after a few years , if i am stuck with a man who is not compassionate enough , who doesnt love me as hard as he did. What if I never find somebody better than him ?I am scared that I will end up comparing the other guy with him and the other guy would fail or not give me enough love care and attention . I am very much scared about this. Somewhere deep down in my heart I believe that I lost a gem a true gem and i wouldnt share that amazing compatibility with anyone on earth.And I am also scared that any girl will replace me in his life but nobody will replace him in my life.

can you please help me with this?