Hi Anita,

You are very right, I do feel anxious sometimes in social situations and expect my boyfriend to help me out. I have observed that even in life, I mostly make friends who are extroverts because they help me get started in social situations and after a while, I am confident by myself. It takes me a while to open up in new surroundings while if I am with extroverts, they show me a path. I also want to mention honestly that, these days I feel jealous of my extrovert friends and I hate that I do. I love them and I want to see them happy. The fact that I’m feeling jealous is killing me – why do you think I am feeling this way?

And you are right about what I think about my boyfriend when he does not help me out in social situations – I am dissappointed.

Initially, I did get thoughts like “maybe he is not strong enough”, “maybe is not qualified enough”, “I don’t think he is manly enough” but over time, as I got to spend more time with him and understand him, I did understand that he has a wonderful personality – just a different type of wonderful than what I have in my head. Your line… “Better see the boy in a man than see a prince on a pedestal” is such a fresh perspective to me – thank you! And like tommy said, I always thought it’s the guy who has to help the woman more and yes, I have been raised to have high expectations from a man and maybe that’s one of the reason I think this way. I did tell my mother about my boyfriend and she told me he is not good enough for you and I know it unconsciously influenced me. I have become aware of this recently and this makes my decision making even harder – what do I trust now, who do I trust now? I lived till 24 with my parents and I am very attached to them, I trusted they always will do the best for me and now that I have these realizations – I don’t know what truth to believe in and how to take a decision. It is making me very indecisive and anxious.

How do you think I should approach this situation. My boyfriend is a wonderful man, I don’t want to weaken him by showing my disappointment but at the same time, the reality that I expect my partner to help me out in social situation doesn’t change – how can I talk about this with him in a healthy way?

Your contributions are really helpful, thank you for your time and I look forward to your response!