Dear Lorelei Firefly:

I read your whole post: inspiring! I hope that other members read it as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story, encouraging and inspiring others who struggle.

I want to quote some of what you shared and comment on it: “I started feeling this… Dread every time I had to go to work. It got to the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I would cry before work because I knew I had to go in. So I quit. Ended up getting a job I really liked, working at the zoo… it was fun and unique to get to take a trip to the Zoo for free every day. Until the dread started again. This time, though, it started extremely soon… Only 2 weeks in. The dread and stress got too much again so I eventually quit that job too… Then I came across a job that made me feel like it was my calling: Pet play specialist at a pet daycare. Yes, it was as fun as it sounds. All day I got to play with dogs and cats and get paid for it! It was and still is the best job I have ever had… I felt so lucky because I felt that THIS is where the universe was trying to lead me… But I was wrong because after only about 2 weeks, the dread returned… I sat on my bed in my work clothes, and I just couldn’t make my feet go towards the door. I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t move… I never made it to work that day and I never went back. I cried so much that day because what was wrong with me? Everyone I talked to, even my psychiatrist, just wasn’t able to understand…“-

– this is an excellent testimony for anyone with (internal) anxiety, such as is involved in the condition of ADHD, who are looking for an external solution, such as getting just the right job, living in just the right location (city, country), marrying just the right person… and all will be well.

In reality, it takes both internal and external problem solving and work so to function better in life (such as being able to hold on to a job).

Reading your testimony makes me understand better that although my nervous system was indeed damaged by decades-long anxiety, it is not completely damaged, and a good part of it can be helped and improved: some healing can be done.

“My resilience while working has NOTICEABLY improved. Enough to make a difference… There has even been days where I just felt like sitting in my car and crying. But I still went to work“- congratulations, and please keep doing what is working for you, and finding new ways to help yourself, when needed.

Again, thank you, and I hope to read more from you on this topic or any other, anytime, if you feel like posting.

anita