Dear Seaturtle:

“Your realizations and desire to see yourself is why I want your perspective in my life“- thank you.

“My grandma, I call her Oma, which is grandma in German. She was born in 1942, in a bunker in Germany during the war“- my mother was born in 1942… (this means I am not a Gen-Z, lol).

“I also wonder when is the time to act, and therefore control some of the moment in front of me, and not just let life happen to me, and consequentially stay in that relationship“- with a man with whom you’re compatible, it’d make sense to do both, but with one with whom you are very incompatible (N), do none of these things (better not be in a relationship with a man with whom you’re very incompatible).

* I hope that you will no longer be embarrassed for being thirsty for compliments, no valid shame for how you feel.

“Last Monday I get a text from him in the middle of the day, saying he wanted closure and to talk if I would be willing to get a coffee… The next morning I woke up clearer, my third eye woke up and my sacral and heart had mellowed down enough for me to hear my higher vibrational self“-  I missed reading/ talking about chakras…!

“On Wednesday evening he texts me again saying he is not sure if meeting will be good or not because he has nothing positive to say… I also said I did not want to enter a situation where he was only going to show me contempt… He said he wouldn’t show contempt… Saturday evening…  he responds with a long message full of contempt. Saying ‘actually I’m gonna pass…I just can’t get over how much of a selfish asshole you are’… I responded as centered as I could,… He sent another hateful message, then another. He said ‘I read your retarded poem a thousand times‘…

“Then I got home from the cafe and he was at my door. He began the conversation by flustering me, asking me a money question… The same sort of questioning as at the grocery store… Things he said in person: (blah blah blah)… When I speak with you, my sister, my parents, my roommate, truly most people, I find it natural to raise the vibrations of the environment…  These parts of me felt blocked in his presence.. I was not able to let my light shine. This is how it was in the relationship as well, I felt dimmed and I couldn’t understand why…

“Over text the next day… He said: (blah blah blah)... after I read this I felt confused, not fulling understanding how that related to justifying his behaviors rather than looking at himself… does this message read ‘lost’ to you?“- an honest conversation is lost on him. I stopped reading what he said from one point on, hence the blah–blah-blah. There is no benefit for me to try see what a closed 3rd eye (his) wants to show me.

“I need your help here Anita. Because seeing into this conversation is to see into how it was to talk to him in the relationship, it is like he is not fully understanding what I am saying, his responses feel superficial compared to where I am coming from and it is confusing. I feel like talking to him really challenges my third eye to stay open“- bingo! I wrote the above before I read this part. What he’s been telling you under the influence of a closed 3rd eye, facilitated by a chronic marijuana use,  has made it difficult for your 3rd eye to stay open.

“When he was at my apartment talking I felt blocked in my third eye. How it was in the relationship too“- this is what I am saying (reading this after I typed the above)!

“I responded to all that, “on the first part, nothing controls you…“- in his ear, it’s blah-blah-blah.

“He didn’t respond to this portion… All he said after that whole message was ‘ok’“- my point. Your words were blah-blah-blah to him. And frankly, his words should mean the same to you.

N was meant to be much more than a closed eye chakra and stoned crown chakra. He may be a good person in many ways, an ethical worker perhaps, a law abiding, tax paying citizen, and if he is these things, I greatly appreciate him, I sincerely do!

It’s just that when you choose a partner for yourself, you need a man capable and willing to engage in honest conversations, it’s a must, it’s not something that’s optional for you!

anita