Edited and re-submitted:

Continued:

To me, she was Adversarial, not Amiable; Contentious, not Cordial; Critical, not Complimentary; Cross, not Calm; Cruel, not Compassionate; Hostile, not Hospitable; a Monster, not a Mother.

Sometimes she was nice to me, but the Adversarial, Cruel and Hostile, over time, and with repetition, deeply sunk into me. I couldn’t just peel it off and let her occasional niceness in. And if I did, the next time would hurt even more.

I am in the process of saying goodbye to the monster and become to others all that I wish she was to me: amiable, calm, compassionate, complimentary, cordial, hospitable.

anita