Dear Paradoxy,

her choice of outfit is more like thin to an extent, or the skirt has a very long cut

another outfit would be a top and jeans but the top is short so you can see her stomach clearly

most of her outfits require her to wear no bra as well

So she likes to party and dance without a bra. Nice. And then you say she doesn’t like when men view her as a sexual object?

She did dance, but not to entertain men sexually and she is fully clothed, but these clothes highly certain parts of her body like her thigh or waist or breast etc.

Okay, so she is dancing in a tight skirt with a high leg cut and a top without bra. But that’s not at all sexually enticing. It is innocent. And she has no intention to be viewed as a sex object. None at all.

How am I deluding myself?

Read the above. A girl dancing and partying without a bra is not seeking sexual attention from men. According to you.

I would prefer not to assume that she was up doing all kinds of wrong things.

Well, even if you prefer not to assume certain things, it doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. That’s a part of self-delusion: not wanting to see things that might hurt us. And she was a pro at making excuses for herself, and appearing to be innocent and oblivious, while continuing to do whatever she wants. And you fell for it.

Btw is she still living in the same house with her ex?