Hi Tee,

my weekends (this one too) are usually peaceful, taking a light walk, sitting on the terrace of my favorite cafe, drinking my latte. Quite enjoyable, even if simple 🙂

Love that! I’m glad you had a nice weekend. Very similar to what I like in weekends. Except caffeine.

Oh I’ve heard of Ashwagandha, as a remedy for anxiety. I can imagine it can actually help, if it calms down the nervous system. As for yoga, it is not recommended, since it involves a lot of bending, which is counter indicated. So no yoga for me, unfortunately…

Ah I see. You can try and see if Ashwagandha or other Ayurvedic things that may help you

Do you remember any of such instances? Because I don’t, and I don’t think I had many either, since my mother was not really a fan of caressing and physical touch. And I spent almost a year as an infant at my granny’s, who was even colder than my mother… so I can imagine I didn’t get much cuddling, and in general that sense that they (my parents) are happy to have me in their life. Perhaps a little bit from my father, but I don’t really remember.

Ohh that’s interesting. I think I’ve read it somewhere and now it’s connecting the dots. Lack of physical affection is even worse than the emotional neglect. Because it has that feeling of safety. Like I got you, don’t worry. And we both didn’t got it. My mother used to caress my head sometimes and my grandma as well. But I’m quite sure no physical touch from my father. Only aggression.

But because of that you think it kinda turn us into not touchy people? Except the sexual touch obviously. Like even now I feel awkward when someone tries to hug me. Yet I do get little emotional. One of my uncle is really extrovert and I have a good relationship with him and the thing is that he always hugs me. Literally like half minute hug. Not a quick one. And that guy has a germophobia. We meet rarely but whenever we do. We talk a lot.
What about you? Because of lack of physical affection it still affects you?

What are you excited about? I mean, what are you getting in the interaction with her?

Hmm We talk just about similar things. She complins about work. We both are into cats so we talk about cats a lot too. Other than that just flirting here and there. But it’s been 3 days I haven’t talked to her. She texted me and asked that If I’m angry at her. I said there’s nothing like that. I’m just not in the mood and I don’t want to make you feel down because of me.

Also I think I did well that I forced myself to not texting. Because Now I don’t have the itch to check my phone if she texted me. So I kinda feel better lol

If it’s infatuation, it does mean she is meeting some need of yours, or you are hoping she could meet it… an unmet need.

Something just occurred to me: you said she is dramatic, always on the verge of anger. Whereas you keep your anger suppressed. So perhaps that’s what you like about her? Her freedom to express anger? So perhaps this is what she has, which you would like to have too, and it is attractive?

Ohh I haven’t looked from that POV. But I don’t think so, I don’t want to mimic something like that. Specially not getting angry over small things. Because it takes a lot to make me angry. I already have a calm image even for myself.

I get that – you are confused about what you’re feeling for this girl, you’re internally conflicted. And so you can’t really be happy for your friend, because you are fighting your own inner battle. Is that what’s going on?

Actually, I’m not sure. And it happened before with one of my other friends too. We used to talk a lot and share a lot of things and then She got into relationship and then they decided to move to Canada together. Now we talk rarely. And it’s not just talking but I think somewhere in between I have to learn to accept that people come and go. Some stays, some leave. but connections are there. Because another thing is I don’t know how but I always find good people around me or make good new friends again.

And about this girl I’m sure I don’t want to move forward. But thing is that it just feel weirdly painful when I hear like “Ohh my bf made a playlist for me”. “Ohh he surprised me with flowers” It reminds me of myself when I was in relationship

Oh I see, you mean dating brings something new and exciting. Well yes, it does, but it also brings up your fear of relationships, which is happening now again, with this girl… And that’s what makes you question whether you actually want a more serious relationship or just something superficial, to have fun. I think it is your fear speaking: the fear of intimacy is telling you to only seek superficial relationships. Because you do want a relationship, but you’re afraid of being hurt…

Okay so I think we should discuss about this in depth. According my situation, Because again I just tend to think rationally instead of emotionally,

I know I don’t want a superficial relationship. But because I don’t feel ready what if I start with something like situationship first instead of go all in serious romantic relationship and overwhelm myself?

I’ll answer for the video related question in the other part.