[quote quote=432743]Dear Alex: You might not have noticed (double posting), but I submitted a reply for you a few minutes before you submitted your 2nd post. If you didn’t notice it, you are welcome to read it. Having read your 2nd post, indeed no wonder she talks about her sex life with previous partners- that has been her personal and work life in the pornographic industry for 20 years! Not that she should. It is harmful to you. “I would never introduce any information into her headspace that would trouble her or make her anxious“- and neither should she. “Was there a need for me to know all these details about how many guys and how much sex and the quality of sex she’s had when I was very clear about boundaries and that this makes me uncomfortable?… I worry that she won’t stop talking about her past because maybe she is using it to have control over the relationship or has some sadism or narcissistic tendencies“- – living with a woman you suspect to have “some sadism or narcissistic tendencies“, while wanting to stay with her forever, or for a long time (“We want to stay together forever or a long time and maybe even get married“), how does it feel? “This is an outlier as a person at least for someone like me who has been married twice so I’ve had very few partners in life”– maybe the outlier-in-her attracts the .. hidden outlier-in-you? (We all have a hidden outlier within us, don’t we?) anita[/quote]

Thank you, Anita. That’s very helpful and a thoughtful response. I want to agree with you that opposites attract and maybe that’s what’s going on here. I want to simplify it down to male ego. Would any self respecting man be ok with his monogamous romantic partner talking about her best sex in the past and how glorious it was? I mean not if all his body parts work and he longs for a deep emotional and intimate relationship. Maybe my ego is bigger than normal. Maybe I’m the one that needs help. Maybe I am throwing away the love of my life over my ego. I guess we’ll never know. All I know is that I feel resentment due to this and that’s hard to live with.