Dear Arie1276:

On March 27, 2022, you shared that long ago, at a bar, a guy who Amy (your brother’s wife’s sister) was interested in dating flirted with you while she was getting drinks, she saw him touching your hair, and accused you of flirting with him. Fast forward, Friday night, March 19, 2022, you met Amy, her date, her sister, and a couple other people at the winery to watch a local band. Sunday morning,  March 21, 2022, Amy texted you to never talk to her again, used a profanity against you, and falsely accusing you of meeting her date after the time at the winery. You defended yourself, telling her it wasn’t true, tried to convince her that it wasn’t true, but she didn’t believe you, and blocked you on everything.  On that same Sunday, your brother called you, accused you of the same, and used profanities against you. You wrote at the time: “A real friend would have approached it differently. She is no longer my friend over something that was handled like an immature high school girl“.

More than 2 years later, yesterday, May 21, 2024, you shared again about Amy’s text that Sunday after the Winery gathering,  calling you, “a slut and a boyfriend stealer”, and no matter what you said to defend yourself from her false accusations, she kept accusing you. Both your brother and his wife (Amy’s sister) believed Amy and not you.  You blocked the 3 of them from your phone and social media for 3-4 months. Following that, you all reconciled and starting hanging out again.

“Then I was gonna play match maker and set up a date with a male friend and Amy. Well, my male friend confessed he liked me and wanted to date me. I said no.  I told Amy this“- knowing that Amy has been jealous of you for a long time, that she believes that men prefer you over her, why- after telling Amy that you wanted to set her up with your male friend – did you tell her that your male friend likes you and wants to date you?

After you told her, she said negative things about you, and your brother and his wife, once again, believed Amy. You haven’t spoken to your brother and his wife since, and you and Amy haven’t spoken in a few weeks.

“I guess I just need some advice on how to deal with this type of situation or if anyone out there has been through this. What upsets me more is that my own brother turned his back on me and basically is sticking up for his sister n law!!!!!!“- if it is possible for you to get everyone (your brother, his wife, Amy and you) to attend family counseling/ therapy together, that would be best. In the counseling session, hopefully everyone will get to express themselves without profanities, for the purpose of conflict resolution. You will express how you feel being falsely accused, being called names, and the others will get to express themselves.

Conflicts and misunderstandings resolved, closeness between you all can be restored, I hope!

anita