Hi Tee,

You nailed it! You pinpointed the main problem: his too high expectations and immediate criticism, instead of allowing you the time to learn things (and having patience and empathy with you). And he was like that since your childhood. No room for mistakes and a demand for perfection, or else he was quick to get angry.
And I loved that you were so self-confident with him: telling him that you are obviously going to do it well. Yes! That’s the spirit! You didn’t feel less then, or not good enough, but you confidently told him that yes, you can do it, you are able to, you just need a little bit of time to get the hang of it. Perfect!

Thanks! I think I’m finally able to start working on my new identity shift

So your mother behaved the same way as she did in your childhood: trying to pacify you, so you wouldn’t provoke him. She wanted you to walk on eggshells around him, so he wouldn’t explode in anger. Basically, she was appeasing the bully (and trying to control you, his victim).

How are you feeling today? Still good or there are some doubts or feeling of guilt, or anything like that?
So for that matter it’s like 10 days now. And I think there’s no feeling of guilt. Although My father does started to tell my mom (Not to me or my brother directly) that we’re not obedient like before. We siblings talk back a lot. And My mother still just listens to that. But she did told me that if you think it’s hurting you then speak up I didn’t speak up in all these years so I don’t speak up or just rarely.

It seems the inner protector – the inner Uncle Iroh – has activated himself in this latest encounter with your parents. Do you still feel the presence of this positive inner voice?
Hmm I think Yes. But because of his patterns I knew what he’s going to do so I sorta decided that this time I won’t be silent I’ll speak up. So I guess Inner voice helped me to stand up for myself?

Yes, you do have your own voice, which can speak for you and defend you from attacks. I think it’s wonderful that you experienced that you are actually able to defend yourself and stand up for yourself. And this gave you a sense of power. Because if you can stand up for yourself, you are powerful. If you can say No to abuse, you are powerful.
Simply knowing that we have the ability to protect ourselves (from other people’s abuse, unreasonable demands, unfair expectations etc) gives us enormous inner power.
Yes! Thanks for the reminder

Yess! That was a great success – your dream come true, and something you have been longing for a long time. And you made it! So yes, that too proved how powerful you are: because you can achieve your goals and dreams.
Yes actually this is a big point for my identity shift because of my past failures I was considering myself as a failure

Okay, it could be that some “rewriting” of your childhood experiences happened in this very encounter with your parents. Because in this encounter, you’ve got the experience of standing up for yourself and speaking your truth, and not allowing to be silenced and guilt-tripped into obedience. If you still feel good about it, without doubt or guilt creeping in, then some “rewriting” has happened for sure.
Yes I definitely think so, and there are some other “rewritings” are needed to remove the old beliefs

Is there a part of you which still expects validation from your parents (and grandparents) that you are making good choices? Like, you know that you are right, but a part of you is still doubting it?
No I don’t think I need validation from them.

Do you feel that you still don’t believe positive things about yourself? That even though you receive praise from other people, you still have a hard time believing it?
Perhaps now 2 voices are vying for dominance in your psyche: one is your newly found confident voice with which you just spoke to your parents. And the other is the “good old” (actually bad old) inner critic, caused by years of criticism and telling you you’re not good enough?
Yes I think maybe it’s that. How to tackle that and make the newly found voice stronger?
I’m slowly starting to believe about some positive things about myself but I do still have kind of inferiority complex even though I don’t compare myself to others

You mean you are not longing for external validation? But you also feel that your inner “validator” is not strong enough?
Yes Exactly

What exactly do you feel you are missing right now?
That’s the thing. I’m not sure sometimes I feel like I need to befriend with myself so I don’t feel alone or just self-sabotage and waste time