Continued:

It’s mind boggling to me, the truth of it, the reality of it: that I invested all of me, for half a century, in a project (my mother’s love) that was 100% a failure project, as she was blind and deaf to me. Looking back, there was 0% chance of her hearing or seeing me. When I say zero, I am not exaggerating. It was- is-  zero chance for me to be heard or seen by my mother.

She just couldn’t, didn’t have it in her, the ability to see/ hear me.

That was/ is Fact.  Always has been, since the day I was brought into the world.

So, I .. shake off me 1/2 a century of a wasted life.. a misunderstanding, on my part.

Notice, it’s been a waste of half a century (for crying out loud!) of my life, not because of war or a natural disaster, but because my mother couldn’t, wouldn’t see me/ hear me/ acknowledge that I Am Here, in this world.

To be continued-‘

anita