Thank you Roberta, it’s typical of me to dismiss something in this country as not good enough for me or  authentic. if I’m not getting something which I believe to be the best or original source I give no credit which is an awful trait. This is only something that is played out in my mind believe me I’m the most humble person you could meet. this internal dialogue of things not being good enough has plagued me at every minute of my life. I was a barber for 20 years but I truly believe that because I didn’t do a traditional apprenticeship in a barbershop I am not good enough. I am a chef running my own business but because I’ve not been to culinary college or trained by the best I give myself no credit. It’s been this way since I started dating which I’ve touched on in a previous thread. I think once I became interested in the opposite sex my self worth became apparent and I’ve never felt good enough in any way shape or form hating on myself for 34 years