Closure of this issue can be found by focusing on their pain, not your own. That is why you have received this feedback. It is not an attempt to attack you. It is an attempt to help you find the closure you seek. Once you have done that, you have learned the lesson and it is easy to let go of.

Anita was kind to you and didn’t try to attack you. I’m sorry that you don’t see it that way and you find your own pain too difficult to look through. Even though you can’t say the words. Perhaps in this pain you experience you can feel it?