Continued:

I have been happy recently. I didn’t even know what happy means until most recently. I used to.. hate the word “happy”, and here I am, happy. I feel that I am over my Mother-Monster, like I finally- after a half a century- moved on from her, leaving her behind, in my mind.

I didn’t know what happy means until the last couple of days, I mean HAPPY within myself, being happily okay.. being ME. Being okay with being clumsy and weird perhaps, and not being afraid anymore of being negatively judged.

This is all not a rational- dry experience but an emotional experience. All of my life, I was not okay about being me.

Now, as imperfect and humbly humble as I am, I am perfectly okay being me.

anita