[quote quote=434515]Dear Debs123: You are welcome. “His lies are intentional and hurtful… he was unkind at times also, making jokes at my expense, saying mean things in the heat of the moment… he’d yell“, but he also made you feel special: “He had a way of making me feel special, that I was important“. For a person who regularly feels, or has felt growing up, not special, not important, to get to feel special and important is intoxicating, like a dream come true. “I can’t wrap my head around him rejecting me again and again, after promising me so much. A life together“- you felt that he promised you a lifetime of being special and important to him, as in.. heaven on earth (I might be exaggerating here, maybe not)? “And why can’t I let it go?“- let him go, or let go of what he may have represented for you, if he did: a promise of a lifetime of being special and important? Is it that for that promise you were willing to ignore his lies, occasional meanness, etc.? anita

Hi Anita

I appreciate your input, thank you.

I do think the promises he made over and over are some of the reason for staying. I wanted that life, but at what cost? The others, I loved him ( or thought I did?).  I often thought he was lying, but couldn’t prove it. There were times I thought I was going crazy, unsure about what was real and what wasn’t.  Was he even real?  Was he hiding behind a mask? Was I just paranoid? How many lies were there?  I wish he’d never sent that random text. I wish he didn’t ask me to dinner, and 2 weeks later, no word. I wish I hadn’t looked at the dating sites and seen him on several right now.

I probably sound off my rocker, because I should be able to just forget this man. He had shown me over and over that he can just leave. I was good to him, always there, always supportive, everything he was looking for…so he said… until I wasn’t. Again and again.