Dear anonymous:

You are welcome, and no, you are not bothering me with your regular posts at the length they’ve been so far, not at all. I hope that you continue to post!

“In my childhood I was not allowed to make any mistakes either at home or at school. Whenever I made one… I was scolded and judged. Never was I taught that a mistake happens, and you need to learn from it“- sadly, and hypocritically, every person who did not allow you to make mistakes, every person who scolded and judged you for making mistakes, made mistakes himself (or herself), one of which was.. to scold and judge you for making mistakes.

“I have been abusing myself for my mistakes, for all the guilts, for the shameful events, for the helpless situations and for not being able to stand for myself when I should have. In fact, your response has made be realise how badly I have been self-mortifying myself mentally and through unhealthy lifestyle for a long time“- when anticipating abuse from the outside, as a child (from a father, a teacher), the anticipation itself (not knowing when it will happen, and how badly it will hurt) has been excruciating, has it?

So, you solved the anticipation difficulty problem.. by abusing yourself quickly, so to get the anticipation over with?

anita