Ok, get ready for a disturbing view, …

The relationship had to start off with some love and kindness! So, how did it get this far off course? Why do you drown yourself in this misery? Do you spend any time kissing and holding each other? I was always told that if you change then everything else will change because nothing arises alone.

Spend 15 minutes sitting on his lap facing him everyday. Everyday. Make it a ritual. Then tell him to say something nice. That you haven’t heard something nice from him. That you need to feel he loves you. Make him understand. Say you appreciate him but you need to hear the same appreciation. This is about communications. And nothing is more immediate than sitting on his lap and holding him while talking quietly in his ear. If you don’t have a relationship where you can hold each other then where is the love. Being unhappy and keeping it in .. it will only fester into arguments and maybe divorce. If you want love and appreciation then show some too. If you two truly love each other then giving love and caring should result in getting love and caring.

I know it isn’t easy since you have gotten into this routine of him going to work and you taking care of everything else. But, you need to change it back to him taking care of you and you taking care of him. And both of you taking care of the children. Express yourself or nothing will change for the better.

I know it sounds simple but isn’t easy. But start the ball rolling. Hug him and tell him you need his help. Asking him to go to counseling will get a negative reaction. Not that he does want a better marriage but he doesn’t want outside help. Someone to take sides or give orders.

Okay, I know no one believes this will work. And no one wants to try to be the one to initiate being the nice one. That we all think that we deserve better. We don’t want to be the first to apologize. We don’t want to be wrong. Ok, for my rude rant, I was wrong and apologize.