I want to also say that before I didn’t miss her and looked at photos of her and didn’t feel the same ‘wow she’s beautiful feeling’. Now I miss her and I still feel that feeling. I don’t know what’s up with me.

I think I might be putting too much pressure on myself. I think about things like ‘will I marry her one day’ but this is so far in the future, I don’t know why I’m worrying about it now. She’s absolute mother and wife material. I seem to have a habit of being really into something for a few months and then losing interest. I’m not sure if this will just keep happening again and again until I’m old and alone.