Hello 🙂

I have some news.

I just went home from my friend’s house ! We spent the evening together sipping tea.

I was talking about how I was juggling my hobbies, work and social life.

And then she mentioned that because of her depression (she was diagnosed 8 years ago) she didn’t have a large bandwidth to handle different things at the time : everyday tasks, like cooking, cleaning, etc required a lot of efforts and as a result, she didn’t do much.

She added that right now, she was focusing on her relationship because it was still new and very important to her and when she would go back to university, her priority would shift to her studies (understandable) !

That makes perfect sense.

The thing is, I felt deeply uncomfortable the whole time. There were many awkward silences, I withheld a tons of informations and funny anecdotes about my life … I just didn’t feel close to her anymore and didn’t feel like confiding in her !

There was no more vulnerability, it was as if something was broken. I offered her her birthday present, which in hindsight was way too expensive, knowing the way she’s been treating me.

I felt like I was pretending, pretending to be okay whereas I felt really hurt about the changes in our friendship.

So right now, I am wondering if I should talk to her about how I feel like we drifted apart or if I should let this go, especially as she is doing the best she can with her depression !

I don’t know if I should emphasize with her … or myself ?

On one hand, I feel like talking to her is a way of respecting myself and our friendship.

On the other, I am wondering if I am not being selfish/self-centered, bringing up my issues knowing very well she struggles with her mental health !

I don’t think she’s ill-intentioned.

I think she’s genuinely struggling.

Any help is appreciated 🙂