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Hi, Helcat. Thanks so much for taking the time to read that and respond. I would say communication has improved. She’s a lot more open to calling again and now that it’s summer we’ve been able to spend more time together. I do wonder how that’ll change when she’s busy with school but I’ll worry about that later I suppose. She’s definitely putting more effort into hanging out as well, though that was never much of an issue when we were together in person.
I think the reason I was so determined to make it work was because I really feel like what we have is special and had never felt this way about someone before. I knew I couldn’t do it forever but I wanted to at least give it several months to see if she would be able to commit. I also knew that, at least at first, most of my anxiety about it wasn’t based on any real evidence that she would sleep with anyone else. I’ve wondered if I should ask her but I don’t believe that she did and am not sure it would be productive.
If I can’t get over these feelings (or lack thereof) I’m afraid I will have to end things for both our sakes, but if there’s anything I can do to recover them I will do it. I think she’s noticed that something is off. Maybe I should tell her what’s been going on so that we can work through it together and I don’t blindside her? I’m afraid that will hurt things more though.