Dear butterfly:

“I need huge chunks of focus time and hate being bothered when I am working. I tend to hyperfocus on the task and is very sensitive to interruptions. I feel stressed out for him to barge in dramatically every time he has emotional outbursts. He admitted to be very intense and would not change as it has always been like this“- he said that he will continue to barge in because he’s always done that: no exception for you, no consideration of you,  no consideration of what you need.

“I told him that I would build a wall and separate my office from his physically… He said that he would still open the door and barge in”- for crying out loud, how self-centered and selfish!

“I answered that I am not his stress ball to squeeze whenever he wanted. That I need my space“- exactly, you are a person with your own needs and preferences, you are not an object (a stress ball) that exists so to accommodate him.

“Where I went too far was when I said that ‘normal’ people needed time apart and their own space during office hours“- I suppose suggesting that he’s abnormal was not appropriate; self-centered/ selfish would have been appropriate, seems to me.

“He wants to be close to me so much, and I love it but at the same time I hate it… What do you think?“- it’s nice that he wants to be close to you, but.. not at the expense of you. There are two people in the relationship.. not one person (him) and one stress ball (you).

anita