Dear Anita:

Not sure if I got your question right, but anyway, there is definitely longing at play foo. I definitely do feel touch and love starved sometimes, so a part of me genuinely would love to share her life with someone else, to love and be loved back. What gets in my way is that unfortunately, these kinds of longing live just in my own mind. I think I suffer from some degree of maladaptive daydreaming because I feel like I would rather fantasize about having sex or being in love, or even just watch a show about people having sex and being in love rather than engage in real life. It’s like I am asexual on the outside but full of longings and needs inside. I tend to see people all around me very platonically and it’s rare I start feeling a certain way for them. None of my friends can relate to that so it feels very alienating. However, I am not 1000% sure I am just asexual either because there are rare times when I also happen to feel something for irl people too. It’s all so damn confusing.