Hi Elais

When it comes to society, there’s a secret that you learn as you get older. There is no wrong way to do things as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else. You can do whatever makes you happy and other people just deal with it. There is no bar for being a person. Everyone is different.

So instead of worrying about it and judging yourself for it, try figuring out what would make you happiest. Try to accept yourself and so what if you’re different, learn to be proud of who you are.

I didn’t like the apps either, that’s why I spent a lot of time single. It’s the trade off when you’re not attracted to a lot of people. By dating organically only the people you bump into you are limiting your options. You would actively need to go to an in person group meet up to increase your options. Or speed dating to make up for the numbers. So it’s really either making peace with the situation, or trying those things. You could do hobby groups if you prefer a smaller number of people. Going to parties is also a situation where people are often actively looking to date.

You mentioned that you tend to be attracted to people who breadcrumb you. Have you ever experienced any difficulties growing up? I only ask because people tend to be attracted to people who aren’t really healthy for them tend to have experienced some kind of difficulties in life. If so, therapy can be helpful for changing that paradigm.

I had trauma in my childhood, so at first I was attracted to the wrong kinds of people. Therapy helped me to want something healthier for myself and changed who I was attracted to.

My experience of relationships is that there isn’t much difference between a friend and a romantic relationship. The sexual component is the only difference. That and eventually you build a life together. But that isn’t usually something to worry about immediately. Hugs and massages can also satisfy the need for touch. If you want something more, you will have to consider actively dating in some way.

It is also okay if you don’t want to date. If you are happier just watching a tv show that is 100% fine. You do you!

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏