I’ve been thinking about all your responses and you have all helped so much!

I agree that we could/should stop trying and just call it co-parenting…I have tried, but it seems when I act cordial or at the very least civil, he assumes “everything is ok”.  That lasts until something bothers me so much that I ask to talk about it. He always get defensive, he even says he knows he’s being defensive, but nothing gets resolved. It feels like groundhogs day…be quiet, get upset, wait to talk, when I do bring it up it starts an argument and my reaction is always the problem, never the actual problem. I try so hard to just not bring anything up but it’s like it fills up my body and I have to get it out.

My therapist has suggested me letting myself worry for like 10 min everyday, but like, how? lol. This is the thing I tell her. It’s like it’s all or nothing in my brain. Today, right now, I am ok. I’m getting my work done and feel ok. But man, when it comes on it derails me!