Dear Anita

This is sad. I know we are all unconsciously affected by our pattern, but I didn’t even this is so consistent in her case. Can’t help but thinking ‘what if I knew about this earlier’.

She wasn’t honest when she said she cared, probably she thought she ‘should’ care, but actually she doesn’t. She tried to convince herself to do so(just like how she brainwashed herself she wanted long term relationship). Or she cares, but she did not allow herself to do so. I am ruminating on something that has no answer, I hope she sees a therapist to find out…for her own good.

I think I have been improving and now I think in a more calm sense, I was not THAT bad in terms of insecurity. I had my anxious moments, but most of the time, especially towards the end of my relationship, I was secure etc. But may be for her, ‘not THAT bad’ was already very bad, and I  consistently challenge her to face emotions, because I had emotions.

The more I think about it, the more this break up makes sense, to both of us I think

Thanks Anita, have a goodnite