Dear Zenith:

The relationship with her is not in a good place, and she is intentionally ignoring you. I wish that she was sensitive to your feelings about being excluded and that she had made efforts in the past to have you included. But even if she did, I assume that you’d still feel excluded at times because of how deep this wound is within you. I’d call it the Excluded Wound (EXW)

“I just want to end this friendship but I keep giving her chances as I do not want to leave her“- there needs to be some honest conversations between the two of you where you’ll explain to her what is hurting you (the EXW), how it came about (having been excluded earlier in life), how much of the sting now is about your past, not about her (so that she doesn’t feel blamed and gets defensive).. a conversation that will get her (hopefully) to feel empathetic toward you.

You want her empathy, not pity, of course, so present yourself in a way that is respectful to you. With no real, honest conversation, I see no resolution.

“On top of that my daughter asks for her daughter. Today my husband went to her house and took along my daughter as little one wanted to play with her desperately“- with the relationship between you and her being in a bad place, I see no other way for your daughter to play with hers, other than your husband taking your daughter to her house.

I wish you didn’t suffer, Zenith..!

anita