Dear Michael,
I just wanted to say I’ve found your words very inspiring, as I’ve just experienced something slightly similar in that I met someone who was also dealing with some past issues and was unable, ultimately, to commit to me as a result (see post When to be rational, when to follow heart). I’ve literally just read your’s and while I’m so sorry you are going through this I think you sound like a really strong special person and you will be fine.
Like you I wish I was with him right now and it hurts that its over because of timing/past issues. Maybe this is something that we just need to go through to get wherever it is we are supposed to be, although that can seem contrived when you are hurting so much. But trying is what makes us human.
Stay strong.