Hi Tinyzebra,

Ah yes old emotional pain. It is misery. Although I’m an older guy and therefore we’re quite different, I have had some heavy emotional pain myself, so I know something about what you are going through. I’ve struggled with how to manage it and I think I’m making headway.

Inkrid’s idea of 20 dates sounds interesting for me a little down the road – I am not there yet. I’ll know when I get there. If I were forced I would no doubt survive, and might thrive. And the idea is that if you have say three great relationship options, you won’t crash if one walks away. I have not done this so I’m not qualified to talk about it. But if it’s like having three job offers vs. one and losing the one, I can see where I’d be less likely to have an “attachment” problem.
As rational as that sounds based on what you wrote, that’s down the road for you too. In the meantime, I’m focusing on myself including being out in the community. While doing this, my confidence is rising noticeably. What do you think is happening? I feel much better about myself. And women are attracted to me. I am not approaching women they are approaching me. I’m still not dating. So what, you ask? Yes exactly so what’s next? What if as I’m feeling better about myself and am less about me and more about others, what if I were to meet someone while volunteering? Or at the gym? Or at Spanish meetup group? I’m thinking it’s easy to do emotionally and it’s something I want to do, where I might meet someone to date. At this point Inkrid and I are saying the same thing, I just offered my ‘how to’ that may or may not fit you. Just another perspective.
Now, again, I am in a different situation with different life goals at this point, but would you agree that we are both equally worthy of loving ourselves and being in a loving relationship with a fitting partner? If you agree with me on that, I think you are on the right path … which ever and when ever you choose it. I think that’s a perspective that we can all live with.
What do you think?

• This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by Big blue.