wow. you guys truly are amazing! i feel like i just got slapped in the face, in a GOOD way, in a “WAKE UP!” kind of way. i feel like i understand the situation much more rationally now.

The Ruminant-THANK YOU for calling me out on being passive aggressive. you have no idea what a light-bulb that is for me. i am incredibly passive aggressive and i can see now how that response is not a helpful one. how would you suggest learning to go about expressing anger and frustration in a more straight-forward way? i will definitely check out that book.

Utpal-thanks so much for empathizing and for your advice. you are absolutely right in that i need to learn how to control my response rather than just firing back at someone in my attempt to “stand up for myself”.

Inky- i think you are certainly right in that people view me as someone they can kick around so when i stand up for myself they’re like “hah, yeah right. you’re not going to challenge me. who do you think you are??” and i also think you’re right that i’m better off without those people in my life, and that their “confidence” in themselves isn’t as secure as it may seem. they obviously have something going on or they wouldn’t say and do the things they do.