Hi, Matt.

Firstly, I would like to tell you something about my story, as I have found similiarities while reading you post. My ex boyfriend broke up with me last July, I was quite devastated for a while but it eventually led me to some hard work on myself (including reading Tiny Buddha articles, motivational and spiritual books) and I realized the break up was a wake up call for me and now I am deeply grateful it happened.

However, I haven’t dated anybody since July, I didn’t go on a single date. Last month, I met a guy who I had seen only once before, but we had sympathies for each other as early as the first time (not only on the surface, we share similar sense of humor and hobbies). I did something I had never done before – I stayed the night with him (I later realized that it was not because I was that much into the person, I just wanted some connection with a guy after almost a year since the break up). We slept together, but honestly, the best moment of the night for me was when he gave me a kiss on my nose. I don’t regret it, I tried it and now I know that a one-night stand is not my thing. The next morning, he told me to contant him if I wanted to, gave me a kiss and we parted, not exchanging texts or anything for a week. We met the next weekend, I slept in his aparmtment again, but I said no to having sex with him, as I was never interested in being somebody’s – I don’t know how to say it in English – a girl he would call when he feels like it? I guess my intention was to find out whether he really liked me for me. He was distant the next day and that was when I knew that I valued myself too much to try work things out with somebody who didn’t really try.

I’m grateful for this experience as well, because now I live my life for me, knowing that I’m whole and I don’t need anyone to make me happy. I’m now willing to enter a relationship only with somebody who really cares about me and wants to be with me, not just out of loneliness.

As for you, I nodded my head most while reading the line ‘She never asked me personal questions, did not know anything about my past’, this guy wasn’t interested either. I don’t know the girl, but from what you wrote about her, she’s not worthy of your time and I’m sorry that she hurt you with the things she had said to you.

‘I feel like a worthless man,I feel judged, not good enough and it hurts’ – you basically gave yourself answers here – just know that you are worthy and love yourself because you are good enough. Do not measure your value by opinions other people have on you! Maybe this experience will help you figure out what kind of girl you would like to be with, and then you will attract such a person, I’m sure of it 🙂