Hi VK,

You have some challenges that I relate to.

First, you are going through a temporary grieving process over that relationship, so you will need to give yourself time to heal.

Second, for your baseline attitude you could benefit by becoming more open to discomfort in relationships – those of others and with yourself. There are always issues. Some are uncomfortable. By gutting it out you will build up more tolerance. Along the way by engaging with people and yourself, you will learn to deal with diverse situations through coping skills, including more compassion.

– Marshmallow provided one recipe – all in. I did something similar a few years ago moving on my own 100s of miles from family and friends.

– I also agree with Sassypants. Another way is to get out of your comfort zone by volunteering more, taking or giving lessons, etc. out in the community. Try traveling and talking with people. My vote is a mix of in person and some online. You’ll find comfort and better handle discomfort – making you less lonely, while more confident and fulfilled.

I’ll add that you say how grateful you are. For your senses. Your brain. Your feelings. The sun. The moon. That dog that barks when you walk by. Your friends. Your family. What ever you are grateful for.

Oh one more point – you are not defined by your thoughts in that brain you’re thankful for. Some thoughts are ok to recognize, and say “there’s that lonely though again, I’m putting it on a bird’s back” to be dropped off somewhere to disperse. Let it go.

Does this make sense?

Big blue

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Big blue.