Just broke up a couple of weeks ago with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for 10 years enjoying our 4 children, 3 biological and her son from her legal husband. I’m so confused what to do now because I decided for this break up. She is asking for a chance but I denied her the chance to be together again.

A short background:

My girlfriend is overpowering me ever since. All major decisions are her call otherwise it’ll be World War… minor decisions are on me and most of the time overruled. She can decide for our common fund instantly, she gives to her relatives but when I just got an idea like “what if we give some money to my brother?” OMG it’s WW III instantly. My parents are telling my that I am not asserting my rights in the family but my only goal is to keep the family that’s why I opted to keep quiet and follow her orders. By the way she’s older by 9. Every time we have arguments, even if she’s at fault… it’s my fault, and nothing to do but say sorry. If I don’t do that, she will continue to keep quiet, destroy some stuff, and bring the bomb of separation. For so long, every time there’s a war between us, she releases the bomb and all I can do is to surrender and detonate it just to keep the family. However, last few months, our fight gone wild and became very often. Maybe, the frequency was 3 times a week. My mother together with our kids traveled abroad to visit us. One time, my mother witnessed again her wrath confronting me. I surrendered. Next few days, happened again, she released the bomb and I FINALLY ACCEPTED it. I ended it and accepted the separation.

After a day she pleaded for a chance. She even told me that every time she offered the separation, she never meant it. OMG! How about the torture that I experienced every time she throw that bomb. I told her it’s over, I’m fed up, let’s be co-parent for the kids.

She said that she’ll change for good, the power in the family is on me, she will just be in the background with the pre-condition that I will assure to her that I will come back to her. Since, I want to make her realize what she did, I didn’t give her any assurance that I will come back because if she really means to change, change first and let’s see later on. Since, she didn’t receive any assurance of me coming back, she returned to me my 3 biological kids-my mother and the 3 kids flew back home. What happened last couple of days was, she stopped giving provision for the 3 kids, she left all responsibilities for the 3 kids on me, she resigned from her work, and said kids are on me she doesn’t care anymore. She will leave this country and fly anywhere she likes. *** Unless I come back to her, she will stay and continue the provision and parenting my kids.

My requirements to her are:
1. Make peace with my family because she aggravate the situation inflicting emotional pain to my parents and brothers.
2. Be humble to my parents

Her response:
1. That’s the best I can do, I said sorry. If they didn’t see the sincerity, I don’t care.

My goal:
1. To teach her a lesson
2. To help me providing for the kids
3. To help me parenting the kids

Her condition:
1. Come back

Please… any insight? I’m really puzzled down here.

Thanks