Hi All

This really hit home with me so I hope you don’t mind me adding my thoughts. I agree with @wigirl that you have to follow your heart. I’m kind of trying the same thing (I’m doing 60 days). Its hard as hell. And we don’t live in the same city so there is no way that I can illicit the kind of response @kaileygilbert describes in terms of letting him know I’m happy. I’m also not on any social media. So its just pure and simple no contact.

I think, reading these posts, that part of my motivation in doing so is that I want to believe that if I leave him alone, he will come back. I wondered what others thought about the no contact rule and if in fact this motivation is necessarily a bad/wrong one? I mean, its forcing me to get on with my own life, but it does feel a little bit like constant white noise in the back of my mind- he might come back, he might come back. I’m not sure if that is the best for my recovery. BUT its at least stopping me contact him (I’ve heard so many tales like @kaileygilbert describes, ie leave him be and he’ll come back if its meant to be, and I find it very hard not to hope that will happen). I’m not going to pass up other opportunities if they come my way, and I’m not sitting around moping and waiting, but the hope is making it somewhat easier to bear. That we are not necessarily never going to see each other again. That maybe, one day….

I’m sorry to jump on this bandwagon @janfromjersey but I do understand where you are coming from.

Is it the action (not contacting) or the attitude that matters? ?? I think that’s more the question for me.

Its also easier to do no contact if you don’t think you will get the response you want anyway, which is what I am kind of coming round to seeing. As more time goes on and he doesn’t contact me I think he probably doesn’t care. It makes me very sad.