Hi Laura,

You have received very wise advice here. I would also encourage you to attend the graduation, even if your daughter doesn’t acknowledge your presence there. It may not be evident, but I’m sure some of her friends, classmates, and teachers empathize with you and will admire your dedication as a parent for placing her needs before your own.

Your daughter sounds like she will have to learn some hard life lessons. It’s awfully painful to witness, but the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open. That doesn’t mean you approve of her decisions or behavior.

Your husband is hurt and feels rejected, and it is manifesting as anger. Unfortunately, his response is to hurt your daughter back. My advice is to help him re-direct his anger into compassion, perhaps by reminding him that your daughter is physically grown up, but emotionally very confused and doesn’t know how to establish her independence without being rebellious. Remind him of the happy times they shared. That sweet, loving little girl is still inside of her.

There is no tougher job than being a parent to rebellious teens, especially if they’re smart and resourceful. Be good and gentle with yourself. Your inner child needs nurturing as well.

Peace & Serenity,

Bill