I understand your reservations about reconciling with your ex, however “7 years my heart is still with my other bf” speaks volumes. For one thing, I think the loving thing to do is break off your current relationship whether you end up with your ex or not. It doesn’t really seem fair to him if your heart is with another. And something else to think about – it seems like your ex has stood by your side through a lot of personal turmoil. Maybe this is your time to find forgiveness and give him a second chance? Only you know what’s best for your heart, but reading your words it does truly seem like you wish to be with him. Try not to let fear take control of your love.