Dear Matt …”…………………..to be honest while I was in monastery, well actually NOWI’m staying at home anyway I always felt that I wasn’t doing anything with my life . I mean not being productive ,yes I do puja but that’s not I want my life to be I always wanted more .actually I want to help do some social work ,really need ed to help others but being in nunnery I was always felt that go with your routines like do puja ,eat etc I felt I was caged .there is no practical but I can’t say for everyone but it’s what felt I really think I could do more. But ever since the incident I became so full negative thoughts . I feel like I’m stuck in black hole .i don’t see any hope for myself .