I get this… as I am finally on the other side of it, or at least definitively over the worst of it. Mine came in the form of one guy who was bipolar and failed to mention this or take his meds after losing insurance and a job. He was a wolf in sheeps clothing and before I knew it, I was seemingly devoured and what remained was battered (literally) and a pale person.
So the main thing is, you recognize that this is happening and you are wanting to be back to you, whoever that may be. But it is something (at least I feel like) is impossible to control. There are too many outside factors at work that you can’t battle consciously, and you just have to accept that you are in there somewhere, you just have retreated, which is a safety mechanism to preserve what bare bones are at the base of your personality.
you’ve been off to war and you may never be the same again, but you aren’t gone. And that/those a**hole(s) will eventually be the thing that makes you keep a greater part of yourself in the future.
I have flashbacks of who I was then, now. I knew i was that person at the time, but I excused it and thought no one could possibly take it away
honey, its time to be selfish for a while.