Hello Jane!

I don’t think I would agree with things if I was in your situation. If you were to flip this situation around, would it be okay for you to have a male friend stay at your place and for you to walk around in your underwear in front of him? Would that be totally cool between your and your boyfriend if the situation was flipped? I don’t usually walk around in my underwear in front of my female friends, and well, I wouldn’t be doing it in front of a guy friend. If I’m purposely walking around in my underwear in front of a dude, it for sure isn’t because we’re “buds”. I do feel it can be tricky to be for men and women to be friends. I think sometimes (as everyone would know) one of them will be curious about the other.
I don’t feel this person you’ve been a girlfriend to is being completely honest with you. I do find it a little questionable that she would choose him instead of all of her other friends to stay with. I guess in my mind, I would wonder why she didn’t decide to go elsewhere. If I were to put myself in her position, I would probably find another place to stay because he’s got a girlfriend. And that would make things weird and I would feel that it would be disrespectful to stay at his place (especially even longer than intended) and expect to be all cool with the girlfriend. That’s crazy talk. I don’t think it’s totally unacceptable that you had a blow up. I would too! It’s a frustrating situation to be in when he’s not reacting or responding to how you think he should for the sake of your relationship with him while there’s there’s this other chick in his space. If he would not be cool with a dude staying at your place and you walking around in your underwear, then he should be able to understand why you got mad. You’re allowed to be mad, and you’re also allowed to know the truth if you think something more is happening.