Hi All,

To all those who have posted their stories, let me ask y’all a question. Though I have been comforting other people on this site, I still feel confused about the situation I was in. I have told my story briefly above and my ex was one of those guys who would leave me without giving me any explanation and later come back to me after a few months. This has happened several time over the last 8 years and I have lost count. He would give me reasons like my parents don’t like you, my sister thinks you are not beautiful enough to marry me, I don’t deserve you, I am ruining my parents health because of you and this relationship, I made a mistake by loving a person like you, I flunked in school because of you etc etc etc. But almost 9 months ago on my birthday he apologized to me for being an a*****e and said all nice things to me and told me that he will make things right and talk to his parents about me. I have been forgiving him and accepting him everytime he came back to me without questioning him why he left me. But when he talked to his parents, they easily agreed and his dad told me that if he had said this sooner, we probably would be married earlier. So, that made me realize that he was lying to me the whole time and telling me all sorts of bullshit stories. At that point, I was confused as to whether I want to marry him or not because he was lying to me, had never been nice to me and he would say good things about me once in blue moon. So, I asked him to give me some time and he refused. He instead called his dad, put him on conference call, made a big mess out of it everyday and would send me texts like “if you don’t reply then I will marry some other girl”, “i will marry a girl better than you in all aspects” etc etc. I was PISSED off big time coz I waited for this jerk believing all his stories for eight years, helped him pay his loans off, stood by him at all times and he told me all these things coz I asked him for some time to think if I wanted to do this. I did not respond to any of his texts because I was really upset with the way he created a mess out of everything. I had reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. He had abused me emotionally for a long time and I had lost myself completely. I felt like he will never treat me right and never respect me or my parents. I wanted to say a lot of things to him but I just cut it off without saying anything. He constantly apologized after I told him that he doesn’t deserve me but I was afraid to give him another chance as I felt he will break my heart again with his harsh words and demeanor. He is so full of himself and his family. The worst part is he knows that his behavior towards me is not right. He accepts that he is rude, short tempered, doesn’t support me emotionally but still continues to do it and expects me to bear with it forever. I had told him many times that he should let go of his anger and treat me right but he never did. I told my parents about this guy almost four years back and when they were willing to meet him he backed off. I went to my home country twice just because he said he will meet my parents and he did not, instead he told me to go back to US. He has broken my heart beyond repair a million times and I don’t have the strength or the courage to let him break it again. Honestly, I don’t know what the truth is. If his parents had issues with me from the beginning or not, if his sister said all those words or not and if he ever loved me truly or not. But lately, I have been getting nightmares about this guy and even though he is not in my life, my life is still miserable dreaming about him most nights. May be he was serious about me and wanted to mend his mistakes, I don’t know. All that I wanted was sometime. But exactly 2.5 months later he sent me a text saying that he is marrying another girl and again I don’t know if its true or not. Inspite of all this he makes me feel guilty and blames me for breaking up. I just felt that he won’t be there for me, he doesn’t love me, there was a gut feeling within me which said don’t do it. I was feeling so uncomfortable because he was so demanding. I was scared that if this is his behavior now then he will continue to behave this way or even worse once we are married. I had tolerated all this nonsense for so long that I broke down one day and was just rude to him, scolded him left and right and said he doesn’t deserve me and then never looked back since then, never tried to contact him in anyway. What do y’all think? Did I do anything wrong by cutting him off like that?