Hello Sarah,

Yes, it’s hard to help people sometimes, because they seem to want to stay where they are. I remember being very “needy” with friends for years, and one in particular who was like you, very kind and a good listener. The truth was I was looking for help from others, when I needed to help myself. I am sure you already know this is true for your friend too.

Please remember it is important to take care of yourself first, and then try to be supportive to your friend. Have you tried encouraging her to seek professional help? Maybe you could do hs by being honest and telling her “I am pleased you feel you can confide in me, but I am not able to handle all of this and I have found therapy really helps.” Or, “Can I help you find someone who can help you sort things out?”

You are obviously a very kind and caring person, Sarah, but there is only so much we can do for others. I think it may help if you focus on setting boundaries with your friend.

Love and peace,

Marilyn