Grace,

You dear sweet sister, why would you be afraid that he doesn’t see you as beautiful? Of course he does! Random boobs and butts, while pretty and whatnot, don’t carry his heart, don’t reach beyond the surface. Much like candy, it has some sweetness, but no nourishment. He saw that, “uncomfortable” just meaning he was trying to set it all aside and couldn’t, it didn’t feel right.

Rejoice, sister, because it means his heart is yours, your intimacy is strong and fulfilling for him. It’d take far more than some jiggling boobs to pull his tender attention away from you.

Consider checking a recent post entitled “how do I open to my boyfriend’s love.” The practice described there may bring the relief you’re looking for. Basically, it sounds like you’re the one obsessed with passion, but here fearfully. And yes, it certainly ties in with the stress of your loved one needing care. When you come to him, its perhaps feeling drained, as a beggar looking for comfort. That’s OK, its normal. You’re not a beggar, you’re a champion of love. That gets tired after too much “saving the day.”

As far as the lie goes, perhaps you’ve learned that ambushing him leads to a startled reaction, instead of heartfelt communication. “Did you?” while boatloads of fear that he might say yes, and from him “uh, no” (then probably in his head “shit, why did I say that?”).

Its true I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, but I do that. You could to, if you feel he deserves it!

With warmth,
Matt