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Jay,
I am experiencing the exact same thing as I type this. The break-up, the same emotions, the same questions, the same fears.
What I’m learning in my life journey and in my opinion now, is
1) My emotions are fleeting, like the weather. They pass.
2) It is SO, SO hard, but I believe that my only true happiness is right now, in the moment. As I am responding to this post, I feel better than an hour ago when I was on my knees crying, staring at what’s left of my earthly possessions in a pile for storage. Action, doing something like this to connect in some way and hope to provide the assurance you (we) are not alone.
3) I just finished “The Alchemist”. It was by no coincidence someone mentioned it to me a few weeks ago. It is a life-changing experience is all I can say. It has allowed me to reframe this change. Better, stronger days await me. I am convinced of it after reading this. I am seeking my “Personal Legend.”
4) I also read a quote just a few days ago that has resonated as to how grateful I should be daily. “Whenever you start worrying about your troubles, remember there is someone, somewhere, praying to have them.” Whoa. I have such “first world” problems. I actually have clothing to put in storage! I have friends and family that will never allow me to go without a meal or a roof over my head. We give love and receive it far more. I hope you can feel love coming to you now. Complete strangers, reaching out to you. You are a blessing in my journey. You’ve opened a door for me to write, speak from my heart and understand I am not alone.
5) I never want to give advice. I simply had to chime in, virtually give you a hug and tell you there’s another guy going through the same thing right now. I just wanted to share my thoughts as my emotions are swirling like stormy weather. Inevitably, the sun returns. I know it will for all of here going through troubled times.
All this said, we are human, we can not levitate on a cloud of bliss. However, ALL of our emotions are gifts. I want to experience this, as painful as it is and will be, fully. I don’t and won’t drown it out with alcohol or drugs as I would have in the past. I want to present. I want to cry.
And I want to feel this painful change because I’ve also learned that I have never, ever grown or learned anything without it.
I am sending you my sincere appreciation for this moment. We will be stronger. Only faith can fight fear.
We shall, brother.